Cell Cyle

I guess if I dive into the subject as I don’t know where to start, I think I have made a start like myself.
When I graduated from college, I was deceived like everyone else that I would start the best period of my life. Getting into work had been my biggest goal. Because when I got the job, I would have as much money as I wanted and I would be able to buy everything I wanted and travel wherever I wanted. Looking at the things I dreamed of when I was a student, I realized that the dream was not my own and that I was easily guided by others.
In short, I started to work, but I couldn’t do anything other than work; I could neither travel nor wear what I wanted. On top of that, I was making it difficult for the end of the month because of expenses such as rent and bills. My life changed when I was in this vicious circle, when I woke up one morning and decided that I didn’t want to live today. I would have liked to say that I moved to my village, bought my own house and chicken, but that day I went to work again, as I have been doing for about 6 months.
The only thing that will motivate me to live today is that I will one day take the opportunity out of this cycle without hesitation whenever I get the chance. There are a lot of personal developers who say, don’t wait for the opportunity to come, create your own. With all my arrogance, I think I am too smart to pay attention to them. So what will happen, do I just wait for a miracle to happen? In the evenings, I drown in sleep-disturbing thoughts about what will happen. Then you already know the morning.
I feel lonely in my thoughts these days. My problem is not to be understood; My problem is that I don’t have the courage to say these things out loud. I can no longer bury my thoughts in silence. I thought I’d better write something in a diary. I keep a diary for the first time in my life. What a chatty person I was, it means that I always talked. Let’s see what effects this diary will have in regular use as it is good for now.